i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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