Whod you bang
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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