I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
