What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
