But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
