I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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