That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
