Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
