: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
