All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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