It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
