Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
