I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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