The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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