She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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