Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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