i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we're making bets on your personal life
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
