u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
