I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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