we're blogging at a bar
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
