I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
