Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
