i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
