Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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