I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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