yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
