Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
