dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
