people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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