and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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