Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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