So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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