Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
