WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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