I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
