haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
