@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize