No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
