He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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