great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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