; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
