Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
They took my balls.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
as a side note pls kill me
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
