After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I will pee on everything he values.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
