I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
