Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize