I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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