yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
