idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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