I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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