i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
