I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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