A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
