Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize