I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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