just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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