My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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