Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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