If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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