i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
