I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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