I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
