yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize