Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize