isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
