i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
