I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish i was in the wii world.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
