im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
