Please, let me fuck your mom
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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