I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
