Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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