if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
