I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
