Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
