It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize