Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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