Don't make out with my wife yet
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All the doctor said was why
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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