I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
