dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
