seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
